The Wide, Wide World of Duckula?
by Sabertooth Kitty
Summary: NEW DM 3- Count Duckula has returned, and he is determined to get his own TV show (what else is new?)! Can Danger Mouse, Penfold, and Judas save the day before Duckula ruins the industry? You'll just have to find out for yourself...


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The Wide, Wide World of… Duckula?

Rated PG for mild violence and peril

I do not own anything here already copyrighted to Cosgrove Hall. Only Judas Franklin belongs strictly to me.

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Author's Notes: For any of you that know your DM history, you'll know that a certain character by the name Count Duckula made two guest appearances on _Danger Mouse_ ("The Four Tasks of Danger Mouse" and "The Return of Count Duckula") before actually getting his own TV show! I decided that maybe it was time this unusual character make one more guest appearance, and as usual the plot thickens…

London- home to the world's greatest secret agent, along with the world's most cowardly hamster, and the world's most casual dog. Yes, indeed; it's Danger Mouse, his assistant Penfold, and their new recruit Judas Franklin. Ever alert, they wait for the call of duty vigilantly.

Until then, they had other plans.

Judas laid back in his room, tossing a small white ball in the air and catching it with a large leather glove. He reminisced on the good old days, when all he had to worry about was what Mom made him for lunch that morning, or whether or not Dad had the time or effort to play catch. He sighed, a wide grin crossing his face. "Good times," he remarked.

At that moment, Penfold passed by Judas' room. He then noticed the ball he was tossing and stepped inside. He stared at the ball and glove curiously; he wasn't well aware of American games or past-times, so naturally this seemed a bit odd.

Chuckling, Judas sat up and looked back at Penfold. "What?" he questioned. "You like my baseball?"

"Baseball?" Penfold repeated. "Is that what it is?"

Wide eyed, Judas dropped his ball. "You have **no** idea what baseball is?" he inquired, laughing as he laid back down on the bed. "You haven't _lived_ until you've seen a real baseball game!"

Curious, Penfold sat next to Judas on the bed. "Oh?" he queried.

With a light-hearted sigh, Judas nodded. "I remember my first baseball game," he began. "I was 7 years old, and my dad thought it would be a good way for us to bond. That day, little guy, my dad and I were **never** so close as those few hours sitting in the stadium, watching a good old game of baseball." He chuckled, adding, "That's also where I got this baseball- it was a foul ball, and it landed right in my bag of popcorn! You don't know how happy that makes a 7-year-old kid feel!"

Penfold simply nodded. He wished he could have understood Judas' sentiments, but this baseball thing was new to him; he didn't even know what a foul ball was! Just the same, he knew better than to say anything.

Sighing, Penfold hopped off the bed. "Well, the Chief and I are going to watch a football game on telly," he noted. "You're welcome to watch it with us."

Surprised, Judas stood from his bed and followed Penfold. "You have football here?" he questioned. "You_ actually _have football games here?"

As Judas entered the parlor, Danger Mouse came in and sat down next to him. "Of course," he replied. "Football is an international sport. You know that, don't you?"

The recruit shrugged. "One of my friends went to Australia, and he said the only sport he ever saw there was something called 'rugby'," he explained. "Besides, I've never thought of football as international anyway; I always saw it as an American sport."

"No, it originated here in Europe," DM clarified, reaching for the remote control. "I think you'll be in for a treat, Judas. From what I've heard, a good football game is hard to come by in America."

Judas rolled his eyes as the agent flipped through the channels on the television. "Then **you**, my friend, need to come to America," he suggested.

Danger Mouse found what channel he had been searching for and laid down the remote. He and Penfold watched the game intently as Judas looked closer at what he was actually seeing. "Guys," he said, "this isn't football."

The agent turned to Judas, cocking his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?" he assured. "Of course it is!"

Determined to prove his point, Judas shook his head. "No, it's not," he snapped, pointing to the screen. "That is **soccer**! That is not **football**!"

The White Wonder rolled his eyes. "In _America_, it's known as soccer," he explained. "Everywhere else, it's generally called football."

Shocked, Judas stared at DM, wide-eyed. "It is??" he screamed, smacking himself on his forehead. "**Suckered** again!"

Their fun was soon interrupted; the football game disappeared from the screen and the alarm sounded as Colonel K appeared onscreen. "Danger Mouse," he addressed, "I've got another mission for you."

"Go ahead, Colonel," the agent responded, with attentive ear.

Colonel K shook his head. "You aren't going to believe this, DM," he remarked. "He's back."

To say the least, Judas was somewhat puzzled. "Who's back, Colonel?" he inquired.

Penfold blinked in confusion. "What about whose back?" he asked.

Turning to Penfold, the agent stared at his assistant. "Penfold, shush!" he ordered.

The colonel glanced at Judas briefly. "He was around a few times before you, Judas," he explained, turning back to the White Wonder. "It's Count Duckula."

DM shook his head. "Good grief," he muttered.

"I'm afraid so," Colonel K replied. "As I've said earlier, he's back from that world tour you and Agent 57 set him up on, and now he's more determined than ever to-"

The recruit rolled his eyes and sighed. "Rule the world?" he assumed. "Man, these guys really need to get a life."

Shaking his head, Colonel K sighed. "To host his own TV show," he finished.

Judas cocked his eyebrows. "Beg pardon?" he queried.

The White Wonder turned to Judas. "Count Duckula is a star-struck vampire duck I came across some time ago," he explained. "When he threatened to turn the whole British government show-biz crazy, Agent 57 and I teamed up, tricking him into going on an endless tour to the most remote regions of the world."

Colonel K nodded. "Now, he's figured out the whole thing," he concluded, banging his fist on the desk. "You've got to stop him, DM; who knows what he's up to!"

"Right away, Colonel," Danger Mouse replied, turning to Judas as the screen flickered off. "Despite how clever Baron Greenback's schemes are, Count Duckula's are far more intricate. Keep that in mind, Judas."

Obviously, the recruit still did not see what exactly was wrong. "All the guy wants is a TV show," he remarked. "Why don't you just give it to him so the whole thing can be over with?"

At that moment, a new voice interrupted the conversation. "I agree with the boy," he said.

Both DM and Judas shot a look at Penfold, who had been silent until now. "What?" he inquired. "It wasn't me."

A new figure appeared next to Penfold. "Oh, but I did," he responded.

Penfold screamed. "Ooh, crumbs!" he shouted, running behind Danger Mouse for cover. "It's you, isn't it?"  


The odd fellow, apparently a duck in Dracula's clothing, stood with his cape spread out. "Yes, it is I!" he proclaimed. "Count D- D- D- Duckula!"

Judas smirked. "So_ you're _Count Duckula," he commented. "How come you want your own TV show?" 

Duckula cocked his eyebrows. "Must you ask?" he queried. "Surely you have heard of my skills before!"

"Only from those two, and Colonel K," Judas replied, pointing to DM and Penfold. "This is the first time I've ever heard about you."

Smiling, Duckula approached Judas. "Well, boy, you are in for a t- t- treat!" he responded, spinning into a Shakespearean costume. "Count D- D- D- Duckula, now plays _Romeo and Juliet_!"

The recruit rolled his eyes. "Oh, brother," he muttered.

The count stepped back, beginning his monologue. "But, **soft!**" he said. "What **light** through yonder window breaks!"

Surprised, Penfold started looking around. "Cor, somebody break a window?" he inquired.

Aggravated, Judas growled and turned to the hamster. "Penfold, shush!" he snapped, stopping himself and then staring at DM. "You realize that you are **completely** responsible for that outburst, right?"

As DM chuckled under his breath, Duckula tapped his foot impatiently. "May I continue, please?" he asked.

Lowering his head, Judas waved his hand. "I'm sorry," he apologized, looking up. "Please, go on."

"Thank you," Duckula said, getting back to his performance. "What **light** through yonder window breaks? It is the **east**… and **Juliet** is the sun! **Arise**, fair sun, and **kill **the amphibious moon, who is already sick-"

Judas held up his hand. "Envious," he interrupted.

To say the least, Duckula was shocked. "Excuse me?" he questioned.

Shaking his head, Judas approached Duckula. "I may not be a theatrical know-it-all, but **that** is one of the most famous lines in all of Shakespeare's plays," he pointed out. "Even **I **know that that particular passage goes, 'arise, fair sun, and kill the **envious** moon'! I hate to say it, pal, but if you can't even remember a passage that well-known, then you don't have a **prayer** of getting your own TV show! Face the facts- you just **can't act.**"

In an instant, Penfold ran behind Danger Mouse for protection. They both knew better than to fluster the vampire duck.

Indeed, Duckula was more than upset. He clenched his fists, coming closer to a now very fearful Judas.

The recruit held his hands up in alarm. "Hey, it's not the end of the world!" he cried. "I'm sure you'd make a great… a great… well, a great _something_, but you'll never know unless you try, right?"

Sparks flew from Duckula's fingers and hit Judas right in the chest. For a moment, he felt nothing; he wiped his forehead and sighed in relief, assuming that the vampire's spell had failed.

Suddenly, something flew in from another room- Judas' baseball! The recruit jumped and nimbly landed on his tiptoes, balancing himself on the ball. 

Wide-eyed, Judas glared at Duckula. "You **monster!**" he barked.

Duckula laughed. "But wait!" he alerted. "More can I do!"

Immediately, random objects started floating in Judas' direction as he grabbed each item and began to juggle it. "The remote!" he yelped. "My pocket-knife! My stereo! My… Penfold?"

"Oh, crikey!" Penfold cried as Judas tossed him into the air. "DM- help!"

The White Wonder turned to Count Duckula. "You foul fowl!" he exclaimed.

Duckula smiled with pride. "The curse of Duckula strikes again!" he proclaimed. "And now, to begin my search, my quest… for my own t- t- t- **television** show! The world will know, and **only** know, Count D- D- Duckula!" With a mad cackle, the vampire duck disappeared into smoke.

Danger Mouse coughed from the smoke, waving it away with his hand. "That fiend," he commented. "He's up to something alright, and there's only one place he can go. Come- Penfold, Judas-"

"Ah, little problem, DM," Judas snapped. "We can't!"

Turning around, the agent noticed Judas balancing on a baseball while juggling various items, including Penfold. "A little help here?" he requested.

DM sighed and walked into the other room. "I'll see if we have any bad eggs or cabbage," he replied.

To say the least, Judas was a bit confused. "Beg pardon?" he queried.

Danger Mouse sighed. "It's the curse," he explained. "Duckula and his curses can be reversed by rotten food."

Judas cocked his eyebrows. "A star-struck vampire duck who can be countered with bad food?" he questioned, rolling his eyes. "**Now** I've heard everything!"

Unfortunately, the White Wonder returned empty-handed. "I can't find anything," he reported.

At that moment, Judas came up with an idea. "Don't give up just yet," he said reassuringly. "Go in my room and get my red gym-bag."

The agent shrugged, but did as the recruit had instructed. "I've found it," he responded. "Now, what?"

"Un-zip the bag, toss, and hold your breath for dear life," Judas instructed. "It's been a while since I've actually _washed_ those clothes."

Though unsure, DM opened the bag and threw it in Judas' direction. Sure enough, the recruit was knocked off-balance, dropping everything (including Penfold).

The recruit sat up, the gym-bag over his head. "See?" he inquired. "Works just as good as bad food, if not better."

Danger Mouse nodded. "Yes," he replied, "I'll keep that in mind. Right now, we have other matters to attend to."

The threesome approached the couch and sat down. Immediately, they descended into the garage and slid into DM's car, the _Mark III_. They sped into the streets of London as the agent activated the wings on his vehicle; soon they soared into the foggy sky.

Judas looked at DM. "So, where are we headed?" he questioned.

"Where else?" the agent replied, staring ahead. "Translyvania…"

A short time later, the intrepid threesome managed to travel quite a long distance… without getting much of anywhere. Penfold leaned half asleep against DM, while Judas leaned over the side of the _Mark III_ and watched the clouds go by.

At that moment, Danger Mouse smirked. "Ah-ha!" he commented. "We must be getting close!"

Yawning, Judas turned to face the agent. "How can you tell?" he questioned.

Suddenly, the cloudy afternoon sky turned pitch black, brightened only by abrupt pulses of lightning. Thunder rumbled through the sky as Judas stared wide-eyed at DM. "You _knew_ that was going to happen, didn't you?" he queried.

Danger Mouse smirked. "I have visited this place a few times myself," he responded. "Both Penfold and I have gotten used to the unusual surroundings, and in time you will too, Judas."

The recruit nodded uneasily. "Yeah… sure, okay," he assured warily, slumping back in his seat. He rolled his eyes, mumbling, "This whole secret-agent-saves-the-world thing just gets weirder and weirder…"

Not a moment too soon did the trio finally reach the ominous abode of Count Duckula. They stared, wide-eyed, at the towering castle nestled in the cliff-sides of the menacing mountains. A mere glance would send chills down their spines.

As the agent parked the _Mark III_ beside the castle, he stared up at the menacing towers. "Apparently, our friend here doesn't take kindly to house guests," he commented.

"No, really?" Judas snapped caustically as he and Penfold stepped out of the car. "You know, I couldn't tell."

Obviously, Penfold did not detect the hint of sarcasm in Judas' tone. "Cor, this place scares me!" he yelped quietly, petrified. He suddenly noticed that he was too frightened to move. "Oh, crikey! I can't feel my legs! Ooh, help!"

Judas rolled his eyes and picked Penfold up, allowing the hamster to straddle on his neck. "There- you're moving," he said nonchalantly. "Happy now?" 

As the trio approached the entrance to the castle, DM shot a glance at Judas. "Quit it," he warned. "You ought to know by now that Penfold frightens easily; go easy on him."

Rubbing his eyes, Judas stretched. "Sorry," he apologized. "I'm like that after a few hours of traveling."

"Well, get used to it," Danger Mouse advised as he knocked on the rather large door before him. "Hello? Anyone at home?"

With a heavy sigh, Judas shook his head. "Yeah, like that's going to draw attention," he uttered, pushing past the agent. "Let me handle this!"

Immediately, Judas started banging on the door. "Hey! Open up!" he shouted. "We're looking for answers, pal!"

Without a word, just a sigh, DM tapped Judas on the shoulder. "Don't do that," he suggested. "Force will only provoke him to do his worst."

Frustrated, Judas whipped around and glared at Danger Mouse. "Oh, what's Duckula gonna do?" he questioned. "Make us sit down for two-and-a-half hours to watch him butcher _West Side Story_, or maybe _Cats_??"

"Perhaps," the agent replied.

"He's done it before," Penfold pointed out.

Before Judas could retort, the trio suddenly realized that they were no longer on solid ground. They glanced down for a moment- seeing a bottomless pit beneath their feet- and then glanced at each other. Danger Mouse could only sneer at his recruit as Judas allowed a sheepish grin to cross his face.

In an instant, the agent and his two companions fell. Their screams echoed in the seemingly endless void of the pit as it carried them deeper into the heart of the castle…

In a dark, dark cavern, miles beneath the earth's surface, Duckula paced back and forth. "What c- c- could be taking them so long?" he asked himself. "They should have been here by now!"

At that moment, the sound of faint, echoing screams alerted the count. "Ah-ha!" he exclaimed. "My g- g- guests have arrived!"

The heroic trio soon fell, face-first, into Duckula's lair. As Danger Mouse stood and brushed himself off, he glanced at the star-struck villain out of the corner of his eye. "Count Duckula," he said simply.

Duckula chuckled. "Ah, Danger Mouse," he cackled. "So good of you to… _drop in_." He giggled at his own attempt at humor.

Rolling his eyes, Judas helped Penfold to his feet. "Sorry to say this, count," he corrected, "but that line has been used _way_ too many times."

The count sighed as he tapped his foot in frustration. "I see you've brought Mr. Kill-Joy with you," he muttered, turning away. "No matter- I will s- s- see to it that you do not ruin my debut!"

To say the least, Judas was somewhat confused. "Debut?" he repeated. "What debut?"

His eyes wide, Duckula whipped around and stared at Judas. "You don't know?" he queried, adding a slight chuckle. "The premiere of my own t- t- television show!"

Danger Mouse himself was a bit flustered with the thought. "Beg pardon?" he queried.

"Yeah," Judas agreed. "There ain't no one willing, or even desperate enough, to give _you_ your own TV show!"

The count cackled in delight. "Ah-ha!" he shouted. "That, my doggy disputant, is where you are wrong! Tonight, I shall grace the television screens of the world! For, there is one person who sees the genius of my acting- me!"

For a moment, the agent and his recruit glanced at each other in disbelief. Duckula had something sinister in mind alright; what that was, however, was difficult to pinpoint.

Unfortunately, this moment of confusion gave Duckula an advantage. In an instant, a rope shot down from the ceiling and coiled itself tightly around the intrepid trio. As they were pulled higher towards the roof of the cavern, the floor suddenly became damp with water. The rope finally stopped, holding them about 10 feet above the water, but that hardly mattered to the crocodiles that soon found their way inside the cavern!

Triumphant, Duckula waved to the agent. "Farewell, Danger Mouse!" he called out as he turned to leave. "Now, to the s- s- studio!" With that and a puff of smoke, Count Duckula was gone.

DM busied himself in intense thought as Judas tried to comprehend what had just happened. Penfold shivered in fear as he gazed below at the ravenous crocodiles. "Oh, crumbs!" he squeaked.

Judas smiled, in an effort to comfort the frightened hamster. "Don't worry about it, little guy," he reassured. "As long as we've got Danger Mouse, we'll get out of this…" He paused, glancing over at the agent. "_Right?_"

Of course, Danger Mouse was hardly paying attention to either of the two as he struggled to figure out a plan. "Now, let me see…" he mumbled to himself. "What did I do the last time I was in a situation like this?"

That thought didn't seem to comfort the American recruit. "You mean," he began, raising an eyebrow, "this has happened _before_??"

The agent tilted his head up towards the ceiling. "We need to cut this rope somehow," he reasoned. "It seems to be the only way we'll be able to get down."

"Reality check??" Judas caustically remarked. "Have you forgotten about the crocodiles sitting below us, or are you just plain crazy?!"

Danger Mouse glared at Judas. "That's a chance we'll have to take," he snapped. "Now, are you going to help me or not?!"

Reluctantly, Judas squirmed through the ropes and finally dug his was into his back pocket. "I've got a pocket-knife- never leave home without it," he responded, passing the tool to DM through the ropes. "I sure hope you know what you're doing; if I have to lose even _one_ limb to those overgrown iguanas, I'm moving back to LA no matter what the agency says!"

DM gave Judas a sidelong look. "You're just going to have to trust me," he replied. "I've had years of experience- I _know_ what I'm doing."

Writhing beneath the mass of constricting rope, the agent began cutting through with the recruit's pocket-knife. One by one, the cords snapped as the trio of heroes began to slip.

For a moment, Danger Mouse halted and glanced at his confidants. "Ready?" he asked.

Though extremely nervous (as he usually was), Penfold nodded in reply. Judas sighed heavily, unsure himself, yet he too nodded.

Before any of them could react, the last rope snapped. The intrepid trio fell suddenly, their screams alerting the hungry crocodiles below.

Miraculously, the three heroes landed in a peculiar place- not in the water, by rather on a small stone "island" just a few inches higher. They sighed in relief; at least, they hadn't died _yet._ Sadly, this moment of peace was short-lived; the crocodiles noticed these three, licking their chops as they closed in on them. 

Judas growled as he shot a look at DM. "_Great_… just **great**," he muttered. "**Tell** me you have a plan, **genius!**"

Without a word, just a casual smirk, the agent pulled out a small device. He gently tossed the item into the middle of the island, then looked at Penfold and Judas. "Quickly, stand up!" he shouted.

Not a moment too soon, the device exploded, sending a wide rope net across the edge of the water. The crocodiles struggled to crane their long snouts upward to cut the rope, without much success. Thankfully, the rope stretched all the way to the hallway across the corridor.

Danger Mouse cocked his eyebrows, gesturing towards the hallway. "Shall we?" he questioned, a hint of sarcasm apparent in his voice.

The recruit laughed mockingly. "Oh, you've got a _great_ sense of humor," he snapped as the intrepid trio crossed the rope netting into a dark hallway. "You're a regular comedian."

At that moment, Penfold noticed something rather peculiar. "Cor, what's this?" he inquired, looking at a large white sign with bold red letters. "**'Beware of Elephants'**? Crickey- there are elephants??"

"No, Penfold- there aren't any elephants here," Judas responded. "I mean, think about it- how could anyone fit even _one_ elephant in this tightly crammed castle?"

Penfold started to retort when the recruit interrupted him. "Don't worry about it, little guy," he assured. "It's just a sign, probably a decoration. In any case, there are **no** elephants-"

Suddenly, a loud trumpeting cut Judas off. The ground beneath his feet began to vibrate, and sure enough a huge herd of elephants stampeded through the dark corridor, flattening the small group of heroes.

Growling under his breath, Judas struggled to stand. "Don't even say it," he snapped at DM. "I don't wanna hear a word of it."

Despite his unbelievable pain, the agent chuckled under his breath. "I told you," he reminded. "In my line of work, you have to expect the unexpected."

Judas merely shook his head as he helped Penfold up. There was so much he had yet to learn, or even understand. The problem was, of course, he'd never admit it. Still, he would learn eventually…

After having walked countless hours through the blinding corridors, the trio finally managed to find… a large, empty room. Literally **nothing** but the stone walls and floor.

The recruit rolled his eyes. "Well, this just went from bad to worse," he spat, turning to DM. "Got any other _brilliant_ plans?"

"Would you quit it already?" Danger Mouse requested harshly. "That attitude of yours isn't helping either of us at all, and I would greatly appreciate it if you could be quiet _for a change!_"

Angered, Judas lowered his eyebrows. "Why, you little…" he began in a threatening tone.

Quickly, the agent cut him off. "Judas- **shush!**" he ordered.

As all this was happening, Penfold stepped forward. His foot touched one of the stone blocks, pushing it down slightly. The entire complex began to vibrate as the floor became more and more unstable.

Danger Mouse took notice of the situation, looking at Penfold and Judas. "The floor is collapsing!" he alerted. "Quickly- to the middle of the room!"

Of course, Judas failed to see the reason in DM's thing. "Why?!" he questioned. "Are we _supposed_ to fall through the floor?? **Are you insane?!**"

The agent glanced at Judas sharply. "The floor is most stable in the middle!" he explained. "Just stay with me!"

Once they had reached the middle, the three heroes waited for a moment. Indeed, the floor was stable there, but it hardly helped them. Once again, they were trapped on a small island of rock, only this time surrounded by a seemingly bottomless pit.

Penfold swallowed in fear as he looked down into the pit. "Ooh, crumbs!" he remarked, turning to Danger Mouse. "Chief- what'll we do now?"

"Yeah, what're you gonna do _this time??_" Judas said caustically.

DM turned and pointed to a long rope hanging down from the ceiling. "It's simple," he began. "Using that rope, we swing from this area here to that far corridor over there."

Judas was still a bit skeptical. "Ah, one problem," he pointed out. "We're over _here_, and the rope's over _there_! How are we gonna get to it??"

The question had taken the agent by surprise; he hadn't figured that out yet, had he? "Hmm… good point, Judas," he agreed. "There has to be some way we can pull that rope over here."

At that moment, a rather large bat brushed past Penfold, the mere touch of the creature's wing frightening the young hamster. He screamed, jumping into Danger Mouse's arms.

The bat, however, was not amused. "Oh, please," he muttered. "Really, not every bat in this place is a vampire. Why, I remember the good old days, when a bat could fly around doing just about anything and not scare anyone. I tell you, those vampires are ruining our reputation! Really, have you seen a vampire do this??" 

With that, the bat did a few aerial tricks that even birds couldn't handle- loop-de-loops, twirling in mid-air, looping backwards, and other astounding tricks. Judas smirked, amused with this display, while Penfold applauded in approval and DM shook his head in disbelief. "Good grief," he mumbled.

Satisfied, the bat took a quick bow. "Thank you, thank you," he replied. "You're too kind, really."

Suddenly, Danger Mouse realized something he hadn't before. "Excuse me," he addressed the bat, "I was wondering if you could help us."

"After a kind applause like that?" the bat said happily. "Sure- I'd be glad to."

Relieved, the agent continued. "Do you know where Count Duckula's lair is?" he inquired. "We need to find him and stop his television show."

Sighing, the bat shook its head. "I can't say that I blame you," he reasoned. "That Duckula fellow's just plain weird. Really, he's a nice guy and all, but if he took a little constructive criticism from his little winged friends…" The bat coughed, drawing attention to himself as he continued, "…then maybe he'd actually deserve to get his own TV show!"

Danger Mouse tapped his foot lightly. "So… you know where he is then?" he questioned.

The bat nodded. "Of course," he responded. "Duckula's lair is straight down that hallway in front of you. You can't miss it."

Smiling, DM nodded back. "Thank you," he said.

Then, Judas spoke up. "Hey, one more thing," he requested, pointing out an additional problem. "Can you push that rope over toward us? It's too far away for us to reach."

With a heavy sigh, the bat shook its head once more. "I wish I could," he answered. "I'm not strong enough to push or pull that rope over to you. You'll have to find another way."

As the bat began to fly away, Judas struggled for an answer. "How??" he queried.

Glancing at the trio of heroes once more, the bat smiled. "Don't worry," he replied. "I'm sure you'll think of something!" With a few more little tricks, the bat glided into the darkness.

Penfold's eyes followed the bat. "Cor, I wish I could fly like that," he said in awe.

Judas was hit with an idea. He grabbed Penfold and swept his arms back. "Wish granted," he remarked, tossing Penfold towards the rope. "Have a nice flight!"

As Penfold screamed in horror, the agent shot a harsh look at the recruit. "Judas, what are you doing??" he snapped. "Have you gone _absolutely barmy?!_"

Then, something utterly amazing happened. Once he had gotten close enough, Penfold grabbed the rope and held on for dear life. The force from Judas' throw was enough to get the rope to swing.

The recruit smiled with pride. "Yeah, I remember when I did that with my baby brother last family reunion," he bragged, thinking back into the past. "Of course, it was just over a river- not a bottomless pit. Still, that river was pretty treacherous, if I do say so myself-"

"Judas," Danger Mouse interrupted, holding onto the rope that Penfold had swung over on, "shush, and grab hold."

Once Judas had a good grip on the rope, he and DM pushed themselves forward and swung to the opposite corridor. They had all let go at the same time… and unfortunately, they had crashed into each other.

DM smirked, sprawled on the floor with Penfold and Judas. "Well done," he congratulated. "While it was a bit too risky to even consider, your plan was well thought-out, Judas. And Penfold- you knew exactly what to do, even while you were in mid-air. Good show, boys!"

Chuckling lightly, Judas helped himself up. "Thanks, sir," he said, helping the agent and his assistant to their feet. 

Danger Mouse nodded as Judas picked up Penfold, letting the hamster straddle on his shoulders. "We should be going," the agent remarked. "We have a show to stop."

Judas smirked. "You're right," he agreed, pointing further down the hallway in a dramatic gesture. "Lead on, White Wonder!"

Laughing lighting, DM pressed onward. "Judas," he addressed, looking at the recruit out of the corner of his eye, "**shush**…"

The intrepid trio soon made their way into a seemingly endless corridor. The walls were decorated with old paintings of dead (and probably un-dead) relatives. It was hard to see much of anything; the only sources of light were the dimly lit torches along the hallway.

Penfold looked around nervously. All the paintings seemed to be staring at him, and the cobwebs dangling from the ceiling and walls weren't at all comforting either.

Suddenly, the hamster tripped on something. He sat up, only to discover that his shoe was untied. Sighing in relief, he began retying his shoe. 

About three feet above Penfold was a large hole in the wall. A giant red serpent slithered out through the crack, spying the young assistant. The snake grinned evilly as it cautiously readied itself, preparing to strike.

A new voice echoed down the hallway. "Penfold!" DM called out. "Penfold, come on!"

Upon hearing this, the hamster tied the last knot and stood. "Right, Chief!" he answered, sprinting after the agent.

The serpent, not noticing that Penfold had moved, instead crashed into the floor. The creature shook its head and reluctantly slithered back into its den.

Up ahead, Judas scanned the walls, taking in the haunting paintings. "Creepy," he muttered. "These paintings really do make it look haunted- I could have sworn one of those dudes was watching me."

At that moment, the group of heroes passed by a large mirror. Only Judas stopped, glancing at himself in the vivid reflection. He smirked as he admired his own image. "Hey there, stud," he complimented himself. "You are looking _fine _today! **Oh, yeah!**"

Then, Judas noticed the small clump of fur wadded in his hair. "Oh, great," he mumbled, trying to fix the problem. "Just what I need- another bad fur day…"

Once again, Danger Mouse called back to one of his trailing partners. "Judas!" he called.

Distracted, Judas turned his head slightly. At that very moment, a huge blade swung down from the ceiling, attempting to decapitate the unsuspecting recruit. However, the only thing it managed to cut off was the clump of fur stuck in his hair.

Judas turned back to the mirror, this time much happier with his appearance. "All right!" he said smoothly. "**Now** you're looking good!"

"**Judas!**" DM exclaimed, frustrated. "Get back here, Judas!"

Rolling his eyes, the recruit turned back to the agent. "Alright," he responded. "I'm coming! I'm coming!"

Once Judas had caught up with the team, he realized why the agent had called him- before them, down a dimly lit corridor, was a door. A sign hung from the doorknob, which said "**TV Show in Progress: Do Not Disturb!!**"

The recruit smiled. "Alright- we finally made it!" he exclaimed, walking past Danger Mouse and Penfold. "Come on, guys- let's go!"

Then, the White Wonder firmly grasped Judas' shoulder. "Ah, hold on a bit, Judas," he advised. "As they say, 'look before you leap'."

Confused, Judas cocked his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?" he questioned.

As Judas tilted his head downward, he noticed something he hadn't before: a three-foot deep pit from where he was standing, stretching across the hallway and ending mere feet from the door. Huge metal spikes sprouting from the ground made the pit seem all the more menacing.

After an awkward pause, Judas finally spoke. "Okay," he agreed. "_This_ is a problem." 

Penfold peered into the perilous pit. "Ooh, crikey," he commented. "Wouldn't want to fall into that, eh?"

Danger Mouse nodded in agreement. "Now this is tricky," he mumbled to himself. "I don't see a way we could get across."

A tall, shadowy figure loomed over the courageous team. Penfold stood and glanced upwards; immediately, he yelped and ran behind Judas for protection. Curious as to what Penfold was running from, he turned his head- his eyes widened and his fur seemed to turn white in fear. It was a suit of armor… and it was moving without anyone inside it!!

Of course, the White Wonder could hardly tell at all that anything was wrong. He cocked his eyebrows as Penfold shuddered in fear and Judas stuttered, trying to warn the agent. "What has gotten into you two?" he snapped. "Quit wasting time; we have to find a way inside-"

A low growl interrupted DM. Angered, he turned around to face the suit of armor. His hand nudged the side of the armor, causing the menacing figure to stumble and eventually fall back. The armor crashed and fell to pieces.

All Judas could do was stare blankly at the pile of metal. "Huh- how come I didn't think of that?" he muttered, giving a slight shrug. "Well, that takes care of that."

DM smirked, amazed at his own genius. "Not exactly," he countered.

Judas cocked his eyebrows. "Say what?" he questioned. "DM, I think we have a bigger problem…" He thrust his hands towards the giant hole. "How are we gonna get across this unmerciful pit of certain doom?? There's no rope or anything!!"

With a sigh, the agent walked over to where the "ghost knight" once stood and picked up the lance. "Tell me, Judas- have you ever watched the Olympics?" he queried, indicating the lance. "We can thrust ourselves over the pit with this, like a javelin."

To say the least, Judas was still confused. His ears cocked sideways, as if to show how little he understood, as if DM were speaking in the other 37 languages he knew fluently!

Danger Mouse rolled his eyes. "It's the competition were an athlete jumps over a long sandbox using nothing but a very long stick," he explained, hoping Judas knew what he was talking about this time.

The recruit grinned and nodded. "Oh, **that**!" he finally answered. "You know, I never could figure out what the heck that was. So, um, how is it done?

The White Wonder smiled as he took the proper position. "You'll soon see," he replied, almost smugly. "Watch and learn, old bean."

With that casual remark, DM sprinted towards the pit and thrust the lance into it. He sailed gracefully over the deep, dark chasm like a bird, and sure enough he got to the other side… flat on his face, but otherwise fine.

Giggling at first, Penfold and Judas couldn't help but burst out laughing. "So _that's_ how it's done, huh?" the American dog questioned with a chuckle. "Maybe **you** ought to try out for the Olympics then, eh?"

"Go ahead and laugh," Danger Mouse responded as he stood and tossed the lance over to the recruit. "It's your turn."

Though unsure of himself, Judas nodded. "Okay," he agreed, crouching down and gesturing to the young hamster. "Come on, Penfold- let's go."

Penfold climbed up Judas back and straddled on his shoulders. "Um, Judas," he began as the hound positioned himself, "do you know what you're doing?"

Judas sighed. "I have absolutely no idea," he said bravely, "but we've all got to take chances, right?"

The hamster shuddered and covered his eyes. He was not about to see this for himself!

Sighing heavily, Judas thrust the lance forward and soared over the pit. He too came to a not-so-graceful landing… he flew head-on into the agent as they toppled to the ground.

DM shook his head and looked up. "Well, at least we made it," he remarked as he helped Penfold and Judas stand. "Now, let's get inside…"

Meanwhile, Duckula rested in the comfort of his dressing room. He sighed, admiring himself in the mirror. "Marvelous," he commented. "Simply marvelous! The hour of my debut draws near, and I must be ready to astound my adoring fans!"

Suddenly, the door slammed open, and three familiar figures stepped inside. "Not this time, Duckula," the monocular mouse snapped. "Your show-biz days are over!"

Duckula, however, was not amused. "Step aside, underlings," he scoffed, brushing past them. "Make way for television's latest- and greatest- star! Count D- D- D- Duckula!"

As the overconfident vampire duck made his way to the stage, Penfold looked up at DM. "Cor, Chief!" he remarked. "We're too late."

"Settle down, Penfold," Danger Mouse advised. "We're not through yet."

Suddenly, something big caught Judas' eye. "Hey, DM!" he addressed, pointing to a gigantic switch. "You think that might be something important."

The White Wonder looked carefully at the switch. "I think so, Judas," he replied. "It's in the 'off" position for the moment… we'll need something to wedge inside. That way, Duckula won't be able to move it."

With a heavy sigh, Judas reached into his pocket and pulled out his baseball. "So, what are you gonna use?" he inquired, tossing the ball in the air.

Penfold glanced at Judas and saw the baseball. "We could use that," he said, pointing to the ball.

Judas stopped suddenly, holding onto his baseball. "No," he refused. "No, no- you don't wanna use this. I'm sure we can find something else-"

Coming around the recruit, DM grabbed the baseball. "Yes," he mumbled. "Yes, this will do nicely."

Desperate, Judas snatched the ball from Danger Mouse. "No!" he snapped. "This is no ordinary baseball! This is a **foul ball!** Only a handful of people will ever get their hands on a genuine foul ball, and I've had this thing since I was seven!! _Please_, let's find something else!"

Rolling his eyes, the White Wonder attempted to take the baseball away from Judas. "Don't be silly!" he reprimanded. "That ball could help us save the world! We need that ball, Judas- **let it go!**"

Unable to think clearly, Judas turned away and tossed the ball into the air. "There!" he spat. "You want it so bad?? Go and find it, then!!"

For a moment, the agent was shocked. However, that soon changed into clever amusement. "We won't need to, Judas," he remarked. "You've done it already."

Confused, Judas turned around. He glanced at the huge switch once more… and his baseball was jammed right into it!

The recruit stood there, upset, his ears folded back. "I am **so** stupid," he muttered pathetically.

Looking over his shoulder, Penfold noticed something else. "Oh, crumbs!" he exclaimed, running up beside his Chief. "DM- it's Duckula!"

"What?" Danger Mouse queried, turning around and seeing the vampire duck.

Duckula smirked. "So, you have come to see my world debut?" he questioned, chuckling a little. "The moment I throw the switch, I will be the _only_ star on t- t- t- television!"

DM sneered. "You fiend!" he snapped.

With an evil laugh, Count Duckula used his awesome vampire powers to move the switch. To his dismay, however, he was unable to budge it.

Baffled, the vampire duck came in for a closer inspection. "What's this?" he inquired. "A b- b- baseball??" He laughed, adding, "You insult me, D- D- Danger Mouse! I shall remove it." Try as he might, though, he just could not pull it out.

Taking a moment to breathe, Duckula hadn't realized that the baseball had come loose. It rolled out of the crack and fell right on top of Duckula's head, knocking out the vampire duck.

Surprised, Judas walked over and picked up his baseball. "Huh," he remarked, sliding the baseball into his coat-pocket. "Go figure."

Danger Mouse turned to his companions. "Quick, call Headquarters," he ordered, looking at the unconscious count. "We have a very interesting report for Colonel K…"

The next day, the trio of heroes relaxed in the comfort of the Mayfare pillar-box. The events of the previous day had worn them out, and since no further missions had come up, this was the perfect opportunity to simply lay back and rest.

Bored, Judas reached into his pocket and took out his baseball. He tossed it into the air a few times, thinking back once more to his childhood. "Man, what I wouldn't give to be seven again," he mumbled.

Opening his one good eye, DM glanced at Judas. "Baseball must be quite a popular sport in America," he commented.

Nodding, Judas sighed heavily. "That's why they call it 'America's favorite pastime'," he replied. "I only saw that one baseball game at the stadium, but I always loved watching the Big Leagues on TV. I even played some baseball in junior high." He chuckled, adding, "My favorite memories, though, are when my dad and I used to play catch in the backyard- sometimes, from when he got home until it was too dark to see."

At that moment, the agent remembered something. "Well, I'm glad you brought up your family," he said, standing and walking towards the door. "A package came for you today, from Los Angeles."

Curious, Judas walked over to the door. A long box with various postage stamps laid against the wall. The return address in the corner did say _Los Angeles, CA_.

A wide smile crossing his face, Judas tore open the package. To his surprise, inside the box was a fine-crafted wooden baseball bat! "My bat!" he exclaimed, picking up the instrument. "Holy cow! I don't believe this- my baseball bat!"

As Judas expressed his joy fervently, a note fell to the floor. DM picked up the note and read it in interest:

__

To Judas:

You left this at home! ^-^ We noticed how upset you were that you weren't able to pack your baseball bat. So, the day you left, we took the liberty of delivering this to you via the university's overseas package program. Have fun (if you get the chance)!!

Sincerely,

Dad, Mom, Danny, Reuben, and Benji

Smiling, Danger Mouse glanced at Judas. "That was nice of your family," he commented. "Not many would spend so much on postage to send their son such a treasured item."

Judas chuckled. "Yeah, these are the times when I really love my family," he remarked, swinging his baseball bat with glee. "She's still got it, I tell you. I've _have _to try her out!"

The agent smirked and nodded, walking over to the closet. "Alright then," he said, taking out his coat. "I happen to know where the nearest park is located- we'll go there." He slipped into his coat and glanced down the hallway. "Penfold- get your coat! We're off to the park!"

The young hamster trotted down the hall and over to the closet. "Yes, sir," he replied, pulling out his coat and putting it on. "Just wondering, sir- why are we going to the park?"

The recruit nodded in reply. He too was somewhat curious as to what DM was getting at exactly.

The agent's answer was quite surprising- "Well, I was hoping that Judas here could show us how to play baseball."

To say the least, Judas was shocked. "You want _me_ to show _you _how to play _baseball_?" he questioned. "Did I hear you right??"

"Of course," Danger Mouse replied. "Penfold could benefit from learning _something_ about American culture. I've heard quite a lot about baseball, and I have seen quite a few baseball games myself, but it's a sport I'm still not entirely familiar with. Even I could benefit from your experience in _this_ area, Judas."

Amused, Judas smirked proudly. "Alright," he answered. "We'll play some baseball. We don't have enough people to play an_ actual _game, but I can still show you how to pitch and swing." He chuckled a little. "Of course, it'll take some experience before you get _really _good at it."

DM could only roll his eyes. "Oh, I wouldn't know, Judas," he warned. "I am a quick learner- I have studied at the world's greatest universities, and was a master sportsman at quite a few of them."

Of course, Judas was not so easily convinced. "Chess team doesn't cut it," he remarked, grabbing his baseball and mitt. "This is a real sport! You've gotta get messy, pal!"

"Mind you that I was one of the best players on Oxford's rugby team," Danger Mouse pointed out. "I'm quite sure that baseball will be a roughly easy sport for me to master."

Judas laughed. "Yeah, right!" he snapped, walking out the door. "This is a whole other ball-game, _literally!_"

As the agent and his recruit walked out the door, Penfold waited for a moment. _They couldn't make this easy, could they?_ He thought to himself, closing the door and following his companions…

****

THE END!! ^_^


End file.
